22?

It's strange to think that in just a few short years I may be responsible for controlling or protecting large sums of money. I may be responsible for defending or prosecuting patents, or people, depending on which route the jobs take me. Who knows. It's really strange though to think about that, quite daunting really. On the one hand I look forward to it. I can't wait for new challenges, new responsibilties and obviously that paycheck. At the same time there are definetly times when I feel too young to be doing this shit. I sometimes feel like I'm surrounded by people looking to get married, looking to buy houses, looking to have kids. People completely driven by that need for a big paycheck. Me, right now I'm looking more forward to grilling burgers and drinking Coronas on the deck in the spring than I am stepping into court or a deposition room for the first time. Right now I'm more concerned with being informed about the latest indie releases than I am with the latest Supreme Court decisions. Maybe that makes me a bad person, or destined to become a second rate lawyer. But really, it probably just makes me a 22 year old. I don't know if my lack of motivation in the job search is because of my crippling fear of failure and rejection or because I just don't want to have the kind of responsibility that may come with a nine to five. Maybe not just yet. But that's gotta change, at least if I want to have the kind of financial success required to live the kind of lifestyle I aspire to. Well, I mean really just a condo and a Passat and Bannana Republic suits is fine with me, but still, you need a job for those things. While I've never really considered quitting law school, you're faced with questions of your ability and drive every single day. Once in a while, when things aren't coming so easily, when things aren't going so well, you have to have your doubts. You're inhuman if you don't. Tonights one of those nights I suppose. This semester has been a bit more of a challenge than I anticipated. I just missed Dean's List by a very small amount which really fucking pisses me off. There's no way to lie about that or beat around the fact that it just really pisses me off. I'm not gonna sit here and say I busted my ass harder than anyone else-but I busted my ass pretty hard and to be just a fraction off blows. But, one thing did make me feel better. I'm reading a book about Justice Blackmun, and it talks about how he and Burger were such good friends. Well, at one point there's a letter from Burger to Blackman, talking about how he was struggling and how he had thought about leaving school. So, I figure if a Chief Justice can struggle, so can I. Granted, he probably made Dean's List.
Lyric
"And one day we will die
And our ashes will fly from the aeroplane over the sea
But for now we are young
Let us lay in the sun
And count every beautiful thing we can see
Love to be
In the arms of all I'm keeping here with me."
Neutral Milk Hotel In an Aeroplane, obviously.