Old People

When I ride the bus I see a lot of old people. Not old like, retired and golfing in Florida. These people are old in the sense that it takes every effort and all the strength they have for the entire day just to go pick up something from the grocery store. They struggle to make it across the street before the light changes. They struggle with walking up the steps to the bus. They're daily life is their daily struggle. I have so much sympathy for these people. When you get to that point in your life what are you looking forward to? You can't possibly be looking forward to expending all your energy to make it to Walgreens everyday can you? It got me thinking about growing up and growing old. I think that growing up is more about growing up in terms of what we look forward to rather than growing in years. A 10 year old looks forward to having a locker in middle school. A middle schooler looks forward to being with all the older high school kids. A ninth grader looks forward to driving. A driving teenager looks forward to partying, drinking, having some freedom. The partying teenager looks forward to living on their own. The kid living on their own looks forward to someday living with someone. The twentysomething looks forward to a career, getting married, starting a family. We look forward to success in the business world, seeing our kids succeed, retiring comfortably, getting our handicap down in golf, seeing our grandkids at the holidays. We outgrow what we look forward to and that is how we mature. This would explain why some people are content living the college life until they're balding-they haven't outgrown what they look forward to and until they do, they're not going to move on. It saddenned me to think of what these old people, the wisest and most experienced people in our society, look forward to. If they don't have any grandchildren or they're grandchildren are far away. If most of their friends have passed away, if their significant other has passed away. Do they look forward to death? Life is a struggle and they've survived to live into their old age, and when they arrive there, all that awaits them is whatever comes after death. That thought, as a 22 year old, is so strange, so foreign and incomprehensible. I've still got all these things to look forward to 50, 60 years of goals to accomplish, people to meet, people to love, and places to visit. I can only hope I die before daily life becomes a struggle. I hope I raise a loving family and I hope I'm the cool granddad that can still talk music with the grandkids and can come up with good gifts for them at Christmas despite being 50, 60 years older than them. Hands down, the guiltiest I've ever felt in my entire life about any action I've ever done-and I've done a lot of stupid shit-is not visiting my Grandma Smola enough before she passed away. To know that what she looked forward to everyday was the next time she'd get to see us, and to think we didn't want to visit her because nursing homes made us uncomfortable, makes me sick to my stomach with guilt. To know that one extra visit would've increased her quality of life towards the end exponentially-and that I didn't make the flight up there, kills me. And she was a really cool grandmother. I hope my grandchildren want to visit, I hope I die before my health gets the best of me. Finally, to the guy in the suit huffing and puffing while the 80 year old woman gets out her CTA pass-BUY A FUCKING CAR. I see that shit everyday on the bus and everytime wanna kick the shit out of the guy. You can afford a 1,000 dollar suit, you don't need to be riding the bus, and god forbid some grandmother make you ten minutes late for your meeting. Have some compassion.
Lyric of The Day:
"Heaven, heaven is a place, a place where nothing, nothing ever happens."
-The Talking Heads