Things I Don't Understand

• How the President can take a specific question from a journalist, state an answer that is not even close to on point, and stare at that journalist and miraculously make them believe that he has answered their question and that they should move on. He's like God except the complete opposite.
• Why I am incapable of being offended. While I haven't seen the most graphic or disturbing movies or read the most controversial or distasteful books, I feel like nothing can offend me. I feel like I should have some belief that, when some demeans saidbelief, I should get offended. I don't. If it's something I believe strongly in, I just chalk it up to the person being an idiot. It's weird. Only one thing that can actually offend me and that's disparaging remarks about my family or friends, but really, isn't that universal.
• How I can justify in my head paying $6 for a gin and tonic on a Friday night.
• Why Scalia isn't more controversial. His beliefs are one thing. Him being an arrogant prick is another.
• Why there is a $60 fine for panhandling too close to an ATM. That should be self explanatory.
• What is so attractive about planned suburbs. Whatever happened to spontaneity?
• Whatever happened to Dan Quayle? Can we do a where are they now segment or something. Talk about politically assasinated, jeeze the guy spells one thing wrong in his life, never got over that. Worse than those creepy spelling bee freaks.

Lyrics:

"Liar, liar pants on fire, you're burning up like David Koresh."

-Ghostface Killah, Fishscale. Buy this album if you have any love for hip-hop. He's the best rapper out there right now.