Fragility

It's strange how life is so fragile. Not fragile in the delicate nature type of way, but just fragile in the type of choices we make. The paths we take can break our chances at other opportunities. The choices we make in relationships end them or make them last. Our lives are full of small and simple choices that have huge effects on our lives. Life is full of small events that aggregate to have a tremendous effect on who we are and what we become.

One fight in downtown Athens in front of the wrong people, and I might not be on my way to passing the bar. One sentence here or there makes the difference between an A and a B. One A or B is the difference in getting a job. One letter in the alphabet maybe I would've ended up in a different law school section. I would've known completely different people. One room down in Myers I wouldn't have met half the people that I still call some of my oldest and best friends. One Craig's List post ignored, who knows who I'd live with now.

One bad choice and you lose your job. One job loss and you might lose your home. Losing your home leads to losing your family and losing your family makes you not care about anything any more. A lot of times I see homeless people and I wonder what it takes for someone to get to that position in their life. It's difficult to be sympathetic because the problem is so prevalent. In my head, I'm thinking it's just another person that's addicted to drugs or addicted to the bottle. But really, it's so easy to end up like that. Even if they are addicted to a drug; it's not that difficult to end up in that position. One try of something at one party you didn't even really want to go to-five years later your life can be in shambles. One alcholic and abusive father, and you become an alcoholic and abuse your family. One little thing here or there can change everything.

The scariest part about life and about choices are the effects the small choices have on you. It's the decisions that seem so small at the time that end up being so huge, so life changing. It's scary that you never know it at the time. A little kiss turns into something huge. One too many drinks turns into something terrible. One slip of the tongue results in huge regrets. Small things. That's what scares me. One hour missed of studying. One night out missed with friends. One day wasted. They add up. Big decisions always take a lot of thought, a lot of contemplation, a lot of time. It's the little ones that get you in the end. The little choice that led to regret or the small decision that led to your happiness. It's all a wash in the end really. Win some, lose some.

There's the cheesy phrase, used in the famous Al Pacino speech in Any Given Sunday-life is a game of inches. And really, that's garbage. Life is a game of inches in...well, in football, maybe in surgery, perhaps in surveying or something. But other than that, life is not a game of inches. It's more like a game of chance or something. Because you don't know what you're doing when you do it. You don't know the effect your choices have on yourself or on the people around you. Sure you know when the big decisions have to be made, but most of the time, you're just walking through the dark like everyone else. No one knows what they're doing. That's why psychologists always kill themselves. You just gotta hope for the best.

Lyrics:
"I try to imagine a careless life. A scenic life, where all the sunsets are breathtaking."
Beirut Gulag Orkestra